It's A Surreal World After All - Orlando, Florida

USA - Florida

Written by Administrator

Tuesday, 30 September 2008 19:38

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travel stories

It's A Surreal World After All by karen barton - Orlando, Fl
Ah, Disney, Disney, Disney! You got us by the short and curlies but we love you!

There’s no gum in of Disney World! I couldn’t believe it. No gum to be bought—for any amount of money—anywhere. After a recent stay there, I think I figured out why…

Disney World is exactly that—its own weird little world. I’d never been to a Disney park before, and when my husband suggested we go to the resort in Orlando, I imagined that Disney World was just a bigger version of Disneyland. Boy, was I mistaken. This place consists of four theme parks, two water parks, and more than twenty hotels/resorts. There’s even a “Downtown Disney” shopping area (as if you needed another place to shop). On the streets and highways between the hotels and the theme parks, the only visible road signs are purple ones that point the way to Disney attractions. It’s all Disney, all the time. On the surface, it’s a great place to visit, and my three-year-old son had an incredible time. But after four days there, I’m convinced that there’s an ingenious but creepy mind control scheme going on at "the happiest place on earth."

″I think we did an excellent job...resisting Disney World’s attempts to control our minds and get our dollars.″

Phase one of the scheme started right away at the Orlando airport. Since we were staying at a Disney resort property, some unseen do-gooders (fairies, or maybe elves?) took our luggage straight from the plane to our hotel room. Very convenient. They whisked us on a luxurious, air-conditioned shuttle bus to our hotel. Also very convenient. In retrospect, I see how the plan was being implemented right there on the bus, where we were shown a video of all the great fun Disney World has to offer. In my post-vacation enlightened state, I realize that the video was meant not so much to inform as to prevent visitors from looking out the windows at the handful of non-Disney attractions that are visible from the highway. They want to make sure you’re cocooned in their world from the second you leave the plane so you don’t go spend your money elsewhere.

We were delighted when we first saw the resort where we stayed. It had five swimming pools and several white sand beaches around a large lake. Our son, Diego, squealed with delight when he saw it.

“Look, Mommy, it’s sand and water!” He zoomed to the water’s edge like a bee going for spring’s first flower.

I said, “Yes, it’s nice, sweetheart, but we have to go to the room now.” Yeah, right.

“Look, Papá, there’s a slide!” He ran across the sand to the playground.

I made a ploy for my kid’s sympathy. “Yeah, that’s cool, but it’s getting late, and Mommy and Papá are hungry.” Filled with Disney magic, my son could not have cared less for our rumbling tummies as he darted from the slide to the sand and back again. My husband finally had to pick him up screaming and flailing to get him to the room. This scene repeated itself every time we left the hotel because we couldn’t go anywhere without passing a sliver of beach with a playground. I know now that they were just reeling us in through our child. Pretty tricky and very effective.

It was at the Magic Kingdom where I started to get wise to Mickey's diabolical plot. Everyone has to put their index finger in a scanner when they enter the park. They said it was for post 9/11 security purposes, but I'm not so sure. I’m thinking maybe they secretly give you a massive dose of pixie dust there at the entrance that causes you to be well-behaved and immaculately tidy. I was amazed when we entered the park.

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